Emminy Woot

time to move on

2010-07-26T22:34:00.000-07:00

So, here I am. Back at square one.

I write this here because then I know that no one will actually see it. Sort of a chance for me to vent without having it affect any one else.

I am so unhappy with who I have become and the life that I have that it seems that starting over is the only option. I need to wipe the slate and create a new picture.

I cant seem to stop hurting people with the words that come out of my mouth and the things that I do.

I simply want the "American Dream" and that seems to be something that I will never achieve. I just want a husband, family, home, decent money, and a roof over my head. I dont think that is too much to ask.

Instead... I have a crappy job, debt, I can barely hang on to my friends, cant hang on to a relationship.

I think that I am too independent but maybe it is that I give too much slack. I tell people how I feel and they take that for granted and throw it back in my face.

I dont understand why this has to be so hard. I try to be a good person and it just fails. Every time.

Falling apart.

2009-06-08T23:58:00.000-07:00

I recently moved. Picked up everything I owned and dropped everything I knew.
I was hurt and destroyed and figured leaving was the best option.
But now I wonder if it really was or not.
I tell myself that I love where I am, and I tell everyone else the same thing. But I cant tell if I have just convinced myself that this is how it is supposed to be.
I am not me anymore, I got left behind when the trailer door closed. I am that last box that got forgotten.
This is not me. I am not happy.
My friends don't know me anymore and those that still make time for me keep secrets from me.
Every day is a struggle. I cant put my heart into this life because I don't have it anymore.
Is it so much to ask that I just want to be happy. That I don't want to feel disgusted every time I look in the mirror or that I just simply want someone to tell me how much I mean to them?
Apparently so.

More on the ACE robbery

2008-02-26T20:11:00.000-08:00

Ace Hardware employees brave gunfire to chase thief
BY HALLIE WOODS
HallieWoods@coloradoan.com

Old Town Fort Collins turned into the Wild West Saturday afternoon when a man allegedly shot at two Ace Hardware store employees who chased him through downtown after he stole light bulbs and other items and tried to escape on his bicycle.

Bronson Rhett Quinton, 26, of Fort Collins, reportedly ran through the rear entrance to Ace Hardware at 15 S. College Avenue at approximately 3:45 p.m. after store employees confronted him, said Rita Davis, police spokeswoman.

Bronson then reportedly fled by bike and was chased by two store employees on foot. A private citizen on a bicycle joined the chase.

“We have a zero-tolerance policy on shop-lifting,” said Tom McClelland, Ace Hardware branch owner. “They take it personally when someone offends our store and our customers.”

According to witnesses, Bronson crashed his bicycle on ice, and threw it into the guard rail. He reached into his backpack, pulling out a pistol and pointing it at the two employees telling them to stay back.

The two store employees slowed their pace, but the chase continued west of Mason Street.

Bronson then reportedly stopped, turned around, and open fired at his pursuers. He did not hit the employees and the chase continued. He was later arrested by police.

Ace robbery

2008-02-24T22:04:00.000-08:00

http://www.coloradoan.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=200880223016

Music to my ears...

2008-01-25T20:08:00.000-08:00

Mi Madre- this is for you...
The basic activity that leads to the love of music and to its understanding-- to what is sometimes called "music appreciation"--is listening to particular pieces of music again and again. Such, at least, is the premise of this book. It's pages are filled mostly with discussions of musical compositions--symphonies, concertos, operas, and the like--that people have found more and more rewarding as they have listened to them repeatedly. These discussions are meant to introduce you to the contents of these works and their aesthetic qualities: what goes on in the music and how it affects us.
The kind of hands-on knowledge of music that is necessary for a music professional--for a composer or a performer--is of no special use to you as a non professional listener. But familiarity with musical concepts and musical terms can be useful, helping you grasp more clearly what you already hear in music. Analyzing things, pin pointing things, even simply using the right names for things all make us more actively aware of them. Sometimes, to, this process of analyzing, pin pointing, and naming can actually assist listening. We become more alert, as it were, to aspects of music when they have been pointed out. And greater awareness contributes to greater appreciation of music, and of the other arts as well.
Since our emphasis is on music, this is where we start--with an actual listening experience, our "prelude" to this book. It will exemplify in a general way some of the concepts introduced in the following chapters, and make understanding the terminology of music, when we come to explain it, seem less abstract and mysterious, more immediate and alive.

So the first thing to notice in listening to this Prelude is that it stamps in our minds a definite, by no means bashful, expressive character. Much music does the same, and we value this expressive force. (Music lacking it we often tend to write off as subpar; indeed, we have a special word for such unobtrusive, inexpressive music: MUZAK).

Thought you would like the ending part. I thought it was appropriate.
Love you

Who is your "best friend"

2007-11-06T11:02:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I know I have not written in a while but not having internet readily accessible to you kind of makes it hard.
But this morning I was listening to Pachelbel's Canon and I was thinking about my sister's wedding coming up in a year and how when we were little we always dreamed about weddings and that song and how perfect it was. Although I don't anticipate her having it played in her wedding I just will always make the connection with that song and our childhood. As I thought about it I was also thinking about how much it means to me to have such an amazing family and how close we all are. I was so lucky to have the childhood that I had and to grow up the way I did. Not many kids can say that.
I am so lucky to be able to enjoy classical music (Thank you Mommy) and to be able to have a greater understanding of the world around me (again thank you Mommy).
With that I thought about my mother, and I only have one thing to say. YOU ROCK!
I thought about my friends, yeah they are great and all, on the good days. But my best friend, in the entire world, is my mommy. I know, I am 22 and yes, I still call her Mommy. That will never change. She has created in me only the best of me, all the other stuff, I wish I could say was her fault but I can't. She is indeed my best friend. She stands by me in the times of need and all the other times to but I can count on her in the absolute times I need her when no one else is there. She tells me what I NEED to hear even if it is not what I WANT to hear. She made me become a adult when it was time and not a minute too soon. Can anyone else honestly say this about their best friend? I highly doubt that. And for this I am truly grateful.
I find something, I swear a new thing, every day that makes me a little more like her and it is ok because she is an amazing woman. I, unlike some of my other friends, am proud to be like my mother and to be following in her genes. I can honestly say that it is ok.
I love you Mommy!

Confused

2007-07-02T21:37:00.000-07:00

So I have this odd happening I am not sure how to deal with. I was proposed to this morning.
By a man that I know loves me very much but I don't know if I could ever marry him. I was not given a ring, just a promise to fulfill my every want and to give me everything I need.
I know that all this is true, but I am not even dating this man.
I guess once I see a ring I will know

Samuel Robert Davis

2007-02-01T19:52:00.000-08:00

I have the most adorable nephew in the world. He was born on Tuesday the 30th to my very lucky sister and her husband.
I have to say I think I am the luckiest aunt in the world.

2007-01-26T20:53:00.000-08:00

Have not been on here in a while... here is a little something I wrote... an original

You asked me if I had ever done
anything irrational
As I said "No" you told me to close
my eyes
Then you kissed me
From that moment on I knew you
would forever be a part of me

After a while that was all I was
to you
A momentary irrational
You told me you didn't need me
No rock or life jacket

Unfortunately, you will forever be
a part of me
Broken hearted and defeated
I will never walk away from you

When your heart breaks, I will
stand by you again
You silently promised me forever that night
and forever I will stand

It all happens for a reason

2006-12-26T15:11:00.000-08:00

So my Christmas plans got changed dramatically this year, I was supposed to go to Oregon to spend the weekend with my mom and all three of my sisters. Instead, due to the snowstorm, I went back to Gunnison and spent the weekend with my Dad and step mom.
It was probably one of the best times I have had with my Dad in years. I could not tell you the last time I spent an entire day in their house and I spent two days with them. Not only that but I spent two evenings with my step moms family. Spending time with them is usually pretty tense and there is a lot of bickering. But this weekend there was no fighting, just fun and laughter.
I also had a chance to sit and talk to my dad about my grandpa passing away and we had the chance to spend the afternoon with each other, even made cookies together.
I think that this weekend was supposed to be like this because it gave me the chance to get back with my Dad. I was very glad to be there and to get MY DAD back.

Confused

2006-12-02T23:23:00.000-08:00

I am tired, I am confused, and I am hurt. I have fallen for my best friend. Yes, I know, sounds like something from a movie. But every time I do something for him, even the smallest thing, he turns aroudn and gives the retaliation to some one else. This hurts alot. I take care of him in every way, every form, whatever he needs. But either he does not care or he does not see.
I keep telling myself that I don't care and I try not to but it just hurts my feelings because he knows how much I care and he knows that I would give him the world if I could wrap my arms around it.
I also recently had to decide wether or not to drop out of school or not and it was one of the hardest decisions I have had to make because I can't really afford to school but I decided that I like school way to much to leave, I can't stop now. Not while I enjoy it. I will find a way to pay for it.
Anyway

Tell them

2006-11-01T17:19:00.000-08:00

So I have not talked to my dad in about a month because of some disagreements that we had, I had been ignoring his phone calls and not calling him back. Me being stubborn and thus my mother's child. But today I recieved a phone call from him and for some reason I knew this time, I had to call him back. I did and was informed that my Grandpa died this morning. Not only did I not know he was sick, I did not know he was anywhere near death. The last time I had seen him was probably a good three or four years ago and in all honesty if I passed him on the street, he probably would not recognize me. All of that aside, I still lost a vital part of my family today and it made me realize that no matter the arguments or how stubborn you choose to be it is vital that you stay in immediate contact with the ones you love because with out the slightest bit of notice, they are gone.
There will be a small ceremony held this weekend for the people that can attend and then later this summer the entire family will be taken out on a boat and his ashes will be spread at sea as were his wishes.
So thank you to Grandpa Don, for showing me in your death the greatness of life and that we need to hold on to those we love because in a blink they can be taken from us.
Tell someone close to you that you love them

Saying goodbye to the ones you love

2006-10-16T18:40:00.000-07:00

To the man I love who I have to say goodbye to...
FAR AWAY-Nickelback
This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there’s just one left
‘Cause you know, you know, you know
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you’ll be with me and you’ll never go
Stop breathing if I don’t see you anymore
On my knees, I’ll ask
Last chance for one last dance
‘Cause with you, I’d withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I’d give it all
I’d give for us
Give anything but I won’t give up
‘Cause you know, you know, you know
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you’ll be with me and you’ll never go
Stop breathing if I don’t see you anymore
So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know
I wanted
I wanted you to stay
‘Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
‘Cause I’m not leaving
Hold on to me and never let me go

And for my dad...who let me go before I got the chance to dance with him...
MY LITTLE GIRL-Tim McGraw
Gotta hold on easy as I let you go.
Gonna tell you how much I love you,
though you think you already know.
I remember I thought you looked like an angel
wrapped in pink so soft and warm.
You've had me wrapped around your finger
since the day you were born.

Beautiful baby from the outside in.
Chase your dreams but always know the road
that'll lead you home again.
Go on, take on this whole world.
But to me you know you'll always be,
my little girl.

When you were in trouble that crooked
little smile could melt my heart of stone.
Now look at you,
I've turned around and you've almost grown.
Sometimes you're asleep I whisper
"I Love You!"
in the moonlight at your door.
As I walk away, I hear you say,
"Daddy Love You More!".

Beautiful baby from the outside in.
Chase your dreams but always know
the road that'll lead you home again.
Go on, take on this whole world.
But to me you know you'll always be,
my little girl.

Someday, some boy will come and
ask me for your hand.
But I won't say "yes" to him unless I know,
he's the half that makes you whole,
he has a poet's soul, and the heart of a man's man.
I know he'll say that he's in love.
But between you and me.
He won't be good enough!

Beautiful baby from the outside in.
Chase your dreams but always
know the road that'll lead you home again.
Go on, take on this whole world.
But to me you know you'll always be,
my little girl.

giving up

2006-10-11T16:34:00.000-07:00

I have given up on it all. I realized today that there is nothing left to strive for in my life. My roommates and I are slowly losing our connection, my job is dead ending because I can't get any higher in the chain and my school drive is going no where. I have lost the will to continue. Where do I go from here?

Finding yourself

2006-10-09T18:12:00.000-07:00

So every time I have a birthday someone always asks me if I feel any older, and the answer is always the same...NO.
But strangely this year, there was something different. I am not sure what it was but for some reason I felt oddly different. Maybe it had something to do with being around my sister and it was like being around my best friend, not just a sister. It was crazy. I suddenly felt like I could conquer the world.
I went over to my friend's house last night and we were sitting and talking and I realized that I am an adult now. No questions asked. Reality has hit. It has now come time for me to make some serious changes in my life because I am now at the point of being able to make a serious effect on the world.
I had an amazing time this weekend with my sister. It was a very good chance for us to reconnect and to have some really good conversations that we have missed out on over the past couple years.

Time spent

2006-08-18T08:40:00.000-07:00

So I have not written in a while...for various reasons. Life has been crazy ridiculous and drama filled over on this side and I have just been dealing. Random phone calls can ruin a day and roommates can ruin a house.
It has been a little emotional around here lately so it may be good that you are just reading about my life instead of living in it.
I just recently found out that one of my best friends sisters is getting married in a month so I get to go home, and with that I get to see MY sisters, well at least some of them, and my mommy too.
It should be a good time and a good chance for us all to get out and be with each other...I am pretty excited.

Update on the babies and more

2006-08-04T15:10:00.000-07:00

I recieved information from my sister after I posted about my baby guppies, that Guppie parents eat their babies if the population gets to be too large. Indeed a grim idea. But I am glad to report that my population has remained the same, no babies have been consumed.
They are growing quite large but they are all still their. GOOD NEWS INDEED.

Well another school year is about to start... I am not sure whether I am ready or not. I am partially excited and partially dreading the studies. But I am ready to get a few more classes under my belt and to have a little bit of a variety to my daily routine. And with this school year I am intending to make a few changes in my life. I have had to make some changes with my home life, not as in where I live, but as in how I live, because of the way my roommate and I react together. I have chosen to avoid her mostly and just remain on my own for most of my free time. Mostly acting as though I live alone. Sitting and reading has become a daily part of my routine as well and I have seen that it helps time go by rather fast. Now I just need to find another good book to read because I am having some issues getting into the book I am reading right now. Any suggestions, please let me know...

Oh and to my family... something that came up at work the other day was names, or how we referred to ourselves when we were little and could not say our names... out came... Emminy Woot Chiffifer (spelling errors allowed). After the giggles subsided, I was then referred to as "precious" for the rest of the day... so thanks to all for keeping that one a memory.

I got nothin' here...

2006-07-31T21:41:00.000-07:00

So I just found out last night, as I spent over an hour cleaning a moldy fridge, that my roommate has decided that smoking is pretty cool or whatever. I am not really sure what triggered it in the first place besides the new group of people she started hanging out with, you know the crowd your parents always warned you about? But beyond that, I also found out that she is blaming me for the smoking habit. She seems to think that I am so stressful in her life that she needed something to calm her down. The funny thing is, I never see her, I spend maybe ten minutes of an average day with her.
Now you tell me how I am to blame for her new habit?
I must say, hearing someone blame you for something that could kill them is probably one of the most devastating things you could ever hear in your life.
All I can say right now is try to be a light in a smokers life because you never know when it might turn around and hurt someone totally innocent.
My other roommates boyfriend just told us that his mom has lung cancer that spread to her brain and she has never once smoked. Go figure.
Just be careful with the things you do and the choices that you make, because the things that you say and do could destroy someone else in the long run.

The Miracle of Life

2006-07-25T19:53:00.000-07:00

So my cousins just had a healthy beautiful baby boy who weighed in at nine pounds ten ounces. Another miracle to our family. Now we just have to wait till Febuary till Katy and Billy have their baby. And I can not wait. I am so excited.
But here is what I was thinking, I just got a fish, who in one day gave birth to eighteen little babies. They are so cute and tiny. But can you imagine popping out that many at one time, or at all for that matter. We have one at a time and we are over whelmed.
So props to Big Momma, my fish, for her hard work and excellent parenting.
And think about that next time your one child makes you feel tired.....

Friends

2006-07-12T20:40:00.000-07:00

Been blessed with the best...

2006-07-08T23:09:00.000-07:00

I don't know how many people beyond my family read this, but I just want to throw this out there...just for the pure luck that someone runs across it.
Families are the most amazing thing in the world. I don't know how many people realize what great friends they could have in their lives if they just got a little closer to their brothers and sisters and more importantly, their parents.
I recieved some really good news at work today, that I was being bumped up in pay, because I do a good job. After this was told to me, I could not wait to go on my lunch break and call my parents to tell them the news, because I knew that they both would know how much this truly meant. Not only that, but when I got on my lunch break, I had a message waiting from my sister. So I got to start out by talking to her.
How lucky am I? For real, to have recieved the most amazing gift of such an awesome and loving ...nope closeknit, family.
It counts to know that someone really cares about you...
Hold on to that.

Realizing I lost it all........

2006-06-27T22:01:00.000-07:00

I realized tonight that I have lost yet another person that was important to me at one point in my life...but now is forever gone. I have had a couple men come in and out of my life and I tend to get attached really easily and put my trust in people really fast. My first "true love" was David and he left me devestated and absolutly heart broken. It has been a year and I am not completely healed.
My first semester of freshman year I dated a kid named Nick who ever since has been in and out of my life. But just tonight I was told by his friend that I am no longer allowed to communicate with Nick because I have now become just a bother to him. A statement that cuts deeper than you could possibly think. I have now lost someone else.
Between my summer after senior year and through till now I have had another Nick in my life as well and I found out this past weekend that I have to let him go more so than I am willing to because he has a familly now and his family does not like me as much as he does so I have to let go of three of the more important men in my life. Three of the men who changed me. I don't know if any of you have any idea how hard that is but the next week or so is going to be amazingly hard to get through because I am going to have to play happy while inside I am silently ripping apart.
Please don't ask me if I am ok, I just need to silently cry, not loudly bawl. Just let my heart break and my memories fade.

Love? Or just a fuzzy feeling...

2006-06-26T21:48:00.000-07:00

So I went back home this past weekend for a baby shower for one of my best friends and ended up hanging out with a man that had something to say to me that I would never have expected. This guy was a friend in the past and then we lost contact. When I saw him this weekend he told me that the whole time we had hung out before, he had been in love with me...the only response I had was... Are you sure it was not just some crazy fuzzy feeling in your stomach?
Then I talked on the phone to a friend that is very much a part of my life still and just so happens to be moving to wyoming in the next week. He informed me that since we started hanging out he has been in love with me. Yet again... Love or some crazy fuzzy feeling?
It feels amazing to have someone, or more than one person to tell you that they love you but it sucks that it has to be this way. And that I don't believe them.
Oh well, I guess I have to just take the love that I have and give back whatever I can.
Love everyone...

Life...and the effect

2006-06-18T17:35:00.000-07:00

It is amazing how much the effect the life of an unborn child or children can have on an entire family.
I had a really scary moment today while I was at work... I had a message from my mom and then could not get a hold of her, I tried to call my pregnent sister, to find out what was wrong because the first thing that I thought of was that something was wrong with my sister, my cousin, or one of their babies... I panicked.
When I finally got ahold of her I found out that one of our cats had died and, as figured, I lost it. I am so sad to hear that I have lost one of my most trusted friends that I have grown up around. The ying of the ying yang kitties. very sad day for us. But I am so glad that I was not losing a member of my family...born or unborn.
I was so scared... It is very hard to be so far away from your family all the time, especially through these things.
Hang on to those people you love... don't ever let them go

Women....hmmmm

2006-06-17T07:22:00.000-07:00

So I have this strange obsession with energy drinks. Not because they boost me but just because they taste good. So I have been hooked on just one particular one for a while but recently I decided to branch out and try some other kinds. While the latest one I got was one called TAB...Energy for Women. Might I add it is in a pink can...rather inticing. So this morning I opened the can and took a drink, only to find one of the most foul flavors ever. so overwhelmingly fruity that it was like a bad childs vitamin. How am I supposed to drink this? And why must they make a specific woman's drink so horrible tasting? I was appalled. I must say from now on I will be sticking to the unisex energy drinks because they are much more friendly to the taste buds.
As for Coca Cola...I am highly dissapointed with their latest conconction. Come on isn't production supposed to be getting better...not worse?

2006-06-13T17:55:00.000-07:00

Ok so call me crazy but I think that July just might be the best month ever this year. Sure it is going to have it's bad days and what not but... On the fourteenth I am going with some friends to a car race in Denver and spending the entire day just listening to the loudness and smelling the smells and getting purnt to a crisp. Ah the adrenaline. I can not wait. Then later in the month I am going to spend a weekend with my Dad and Stepmom. I am so excited.
To start the month off as well I get to see Nick and his beautiful baby boy. I am so happy for him and Adina. I am so proud that he has come so far and changed so much. And he has done it all so that he can support his lovely family...what a guy.
Life just might be heading uphill again...

Emminy Woot

2006-06-11T23:36:00.000-07:00

Emminy Woot
yes indeed this is how I feel...please don't ask for details...
You've got your ball
You've got your chain
Tied to me tight tie me up again
Who's got their claws in you my friend
Into your heart
I'll beat again
Sweet like candy to my soul
Sweet you rock and sweet you roll
Lost for you
I'm so lost for you
You come crash into me
And I come into you,
I come into you
In a boys dream In a boys dream
Touch your lips just so I know
In your eyes, love, it glows so
I'm bare-boned and crazy for you
When you come crash into me, baby
And I come into you
In a boys dream In a boys dream
If I've gone overboard
Then I'm begging you to forgive me
In my haste
When I'm holding you so girl... close to me
Oh and you come crash into me, baby
And I come into you
Hike up your skirt a little more and show the world to me
Hike up your skirt a little more and show your world to me
In a boys dream... In a boys dream
Oh I watch you there through the window
And I stare at you
You wear nothing but you wear it so well
Tied up and twisted, the way I'd like to be
For you, for me, come crash
Into me

2006-06-09T14:50:00.000-07:00

Ok so I really wanted to post something last night, but the website was shut down for maintenence. Isn't that just the typical story of life. When you really need something or someone, there is an issue with something ...maintenence of life or something.
I am not sure if anyone else feels that way. The loss of communication in the age of technology. We live in such a huge technical era but there is NO communication between anyone anymore. How sad is that. I hate it, I realized the other day I say things better when I type them or write them, rather then say them, that is until I actually HAD to say them to someone. Man it feels really good to let it out like that. To let someone know that they have made you feel crappy. It really makes a difference.

We got our new roommate last night. I am so excited. She is super cool and super sweet. I can not wait for her to move in. Unlike the other ones we interviewed she is "normal". Well as normal as my friends and family are...which is not normal. It is weird. REALLY WEIRD. but it is ok because we are all good at what we do ;)

Hampster Dancing

2006-06-07T09:27:00.000-07:00

So I was watching this movie the other day and some little kids were dancing to the Hampster Dance song. It brought back so many memories of being a little kid and watching the little hampsters dance to their song. Such a great song. So I went into my collection and dug that song back out.
It is amazing how songs can set the mood of your day. I tell you what...start your day with a quick dance to Hampster dance instead of a cup of coffee...
AMAZING!

Emminy Woot

2006-06-06T17:06:00.000-07:00

Emminy Woot
http://www.cheveuxfille.blogspot.com/
thanks to this wonderful person in my life, i have a blog

find me on a better day...or week

2006-06-06T16:51:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you

Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
And no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me...

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside your bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me...

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be ok
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work
It was always there
You don't know what it's like
What it's like

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

so confused...

2006-06-06T16:26:00.000-07:00

ok, here is the deal. people suck

I just got totally screwed over by someone I thought was a friend and a confidant. I hate that. I don't really know what to do right now.

Oh well, I have the other people that care about me...and my family. They mean the world to me.
I just found out my sister is pregnent. I can not wait to be an Aunt. I wish that January would come sooner.

This blog thing could get addicting too...thanks Anna