Falling apart.

I recently moved. Picked up everything I owned and dropped everything I knew.
I was hurt and destroyed and figured leaving was the best option.
But now I wonder if it really was or not.
I tell myself that I love where I am, and I tell everyone else the same thing. But I cant tell if I have just convinced myself that this is how it is supposed to be.
I am not me anymore, I got left behind when the trailer door closed. I am that last box that got forgotten.
This is not me. I am not happy.
My friends don't know me anymore and those that still make time for me keep secrets from me.
Every day is a struggle. I cant put my heart into this life because I don't have it anymore.
Is it so much to ask that I just want to be happy. That I don't want to feel disgusted every time I look in the mirror or that I just simply want someone to tell me how much I mean to them?
Apparently so.